


Fall Apart

by allonsymckenzie



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Angst, Heartbreak, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-05
Updated: 2013-09-05
Packaged: 2017-12-25 17:46:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/955929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allonsymckenzie/pseuds/allonsymckenzie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt: Song fic: Fall Apart by Every Avenue. Michael leaves Gavin, and Gavin wants him to feel hurt like he did, to fall apart like he did.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fall Apart

**Author's Note:**

> Highly recommended to listen to Fall Apart by Every Avenue while reading. Had it playing on a loop while writing. Loved it.

Just a few weeks, and still, Gavin felt like his world had crumbled at the seams. It didn’t seem to give any sign of repair, and every single day he walked into that office, he cringed to sit at the desk, couldn’t stand to look to his left, to acknowledge the man that had caused his world to implode. Knives stabbed Gavin’s heart to look at him, to think about him, to hear his name or his voice. 

Michael sat at the computer, oblivious to the world. Gavin turned his chair conspicuously away from Michael, blocking him far enough out of his view to be able to clear his head. The rest of the guys in the office noticed the sudden chill between the two friends, but didn’t know why. The Let’s Plays have become less and less a goldmine of playful banter between the two of them to barely any input from either one. 

Gavin had just begun to work on the project looming over his head when he heard his name called from next to him.

“Gavin?”

Gavin twisted his chair even further between himself and Michael, and rested the back of his head on his hand, looking as far away from him as comfortably possible.

“Gavin, come on.”

“I’m not talking to you.”

The redhead huffed in frustration. It was only a couple of weeks, and he made it clear to Gavin that he wasn’t sure about it, and he didn’t know if he wanted this. Gavin had consented, happy to have Michael in any form. Michael poked Gavin’s arm and called once more. “Come on, Gav.”

“Don’t Gav me.” The Brit replied, never turning to face him. “Don’t talk to me.”

“Gavin, seriously, let’s just talk, I-” He started before Gavin bolted out of the door, leaving the chair spinning and Michael in confusion before he chased after him.

“Gavin....” He called down the hallway, looking for any sign of him. Caleb, coming out of a nearby room, pointed Michael out to the parking lot, and Michael quickly pushed through the doors and into the Austin heat. “Gavin, come on.”

“Don’t you bloody talk to me, Michael Jones.” Gavin stood with his back to the man, arms crossed over his chest. Michael hesitated, not sure of how to approach him. 

“Gavin, come on, I wanna get this settled.” He started. “I told you I wasn’t sure if this is what I wanted. You knew that I wasn’t sure.”

“It didn’t do any bloody good, now did it?” He called back.

“I...I didn’t wanna hurt you, Gav. You know I would never do that to you.”

“Well you fucking did, you cock.” Gavin turned around and faced the smaller man. “You hadn’t the faintest bloody idea how much I had adored you, from the bloody fucking moment that you asked me to edit that Rage Quit. I was topside down, Michael. I still am, but I can’t let you do this to me.”

Michael was at a loss for words. He looked down to the ground, kicking the spare pebbles of the pavement with his sneakers. Gavin continued.

“I thought I could find love with you, Michael Jones. I thought I had found the person that finally saw me for me, not just a bloody experiment with their sexuality.”

“Gavin, you weren’t a fucking experiment-” Michael started but was quickly cut off.

“Bollocks, Michael. You used me for what you wanted and tossed me aside like rubbish.” Gavin closed the distance, less than a foot stood between the two men. “For four bloody weeks now I’ve looked myself in the mirror, every bloody day, and asked what part of me wasn’t good enough. Asked whatever would listen ‘What is it about me? Why am I no more than something to bloody use on a whim? To call up when you want to bloody get off!?’” Gavin’s voice raised tremendously, making Michael wince at the last sentence.

“To get off? What in the fuck do you think I wanted?” Michael yelled back. 

“I was no more to you than a bloody booty call, Michael. When you wanted someone to hold, to touch, to kiss, you came to me because you knew you weaseled your way into my heart and that I would always give in to your wish.” Gavin’s fists clenched tightly at his sides, waiting for the chance to strike him down if it came to it.

“You weren’t just-” 

“Don’t fucking start it, Michael. That’s what I bloody was. I was your little one night stand, something for you to use and toss away.” Gavin’s eyes winced slightly as he fought to keep his composure. “And now I live with the feeling every day that I’m not worthy of anyone’s love, of anyone’s desire. Do you know how that feels?”

Michael was stunned silent, unable to speak. 

“It feels like utter shit. All the pain you put me through, Michael.” Gavin spat. “So badly, so fucking badly, I want you to say ‘I don’t deserve you.’”

“I don’t, Gav.” He conceded. “I just want my friend back.”

“You should’ve thought about that before you kissed me at the party last month.” Gavin’s voice trembled slightly. “Before you told me you wanted me, how you realized you wanted me so badly and how you couldn’t stand to just be friends any longer.” Gavin shuddered, his nerves built up so tense with no release. “I don’t think that’s an option any longer, Michael.” He pushed past him, leaving Michael’s thoughts reeling and his tongue heavy and numb, unable to say anything. “I’m done with Team Nice Dynamite, Michael.” Gavin called back as he walked back into the building, dropping the creeper necklace he had been clenching in his hand onto the ground.


End file.
